I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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