i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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