girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
