Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Let's paint friendship bongs
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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