fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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