just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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