He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
