Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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