I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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