Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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