Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
