When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
