Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
