bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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