Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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