Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
