it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
