Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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