Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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