My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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