Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This baby is an asshole
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
