6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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