I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
