Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
a search helicopter?!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
