i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
