How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
