bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
