Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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