scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
