Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
