it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
