I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Congratulations! We have a period
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
