He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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