did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
