So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Are we still banned from the library?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm sobbing to NWA
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