overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My vagina is officially offended.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
