He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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