Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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