she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
