I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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