from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
