i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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