I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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