I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
