I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
