I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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