yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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