im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
