drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
another moral hangover. fuck.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
