I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
