Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
